Just to apologise for the lack of posts recently… We have recently moved house and still lack a reliable Internet connection. We will be back soon!
I thought I would write a post about our weaning experiences.
Firstly, a bit of background. Breastfeeding did not get off to the best start for us. I was ill advised to feed on schedule, to aim for every 3 hours. I was advised by my midwife that this would encourage our Tiny Piglet to take a full feed every 3 hours, rather than snack. But Tiny Piglet made it quite clear from the beginning that he wanted to be fed far more frequently, and I struggled to stretch him out to feed every 2.5 hours. I faithfully (and foolishly) followed my midwife’s advice and after a slow start Tiny Piglet gained the satisfactory weight. But 2.5 weeks in, Tiny Piglet was looking very thin and we became very concerned. He was taking a good feed every 2.5-3 hours and also starting to sleep for longer stretches, so I had assumed things were going well. But a trip to the hospital confirmed our fears. At 3 weeks old, he had dropped (again) below his birth weight (6 lbs 8oz) and action needed to be taken. We took the drastic step of introducing formula milk tops-ups and I tried to pump in between feeds to maintain my milk supply. Tiny Piglet was a hungry little piglet and he drank everything he was offered, from bottle and breast. He had always been very sleepy at the breast so breastfeeds took a long time, and as his weight increased and his appetite returned he fed for longer and longer.
I was becoming increasingly concerned about my dwindling milk supply and after regular weigh ins at the hospital confirmed that there was no underlying problem, I was determined to reduce the top-ups and breastfeed as much as possible. For weeks I breastfed for hours on end, but we continued to give small top-ups of both expressed milk and formula milk. We were given lots of conflicting advice about weight and feeding. Tiny Piglet had been born on the 9th percentile and had dropped below the 0.2nd percentile. My health visitor suggested we offer enough formula milk to accelerate his progress until he reached the 9th percentile again; the paediatric consultant at the hospital was happy with him to sit on the 0.2nd percentile providing he continued to gain weight at a steady pace. I was determined to breastfeed, so I took the latter advice. We continued to top-up with small amounts of expressed and formula milk, and were pleased that slowly, my milk supply improved and we were able to reduce the volume of formula milk. Finally, at around 8 weeks, I was delighted that Tiny Piglet was thriving on my breastmilk alone.
My determination to breastfeed surprised me. Before the arrival of Little Piglet I had been very pragmatic about his feeding, prepared (or so I thought) to feed formula milk if it was in his best interest. Initially, I was perfectly content to offer a bottle: both my husband and I were very anxious about Tiny Piglet’s failure to thrive and I felt incredibly guilty that I had allowed him to lose so much weight and desperate to feed him by whatever means. He had clearly been hungry but as a first time mum I had missed all of his cues (even his endless hours of crying!). But as Tiny Piglet hungrily guzzled down ounces of formula, I found myself feeling rejected and saddened. I felt that I had entirely failed him as a mother and I began to mourn the loss of the bond brought about by exclusive breastfeeding. During those endless hours of breastfeeding I was glued to the internet, researching every aspect of breastfeeding and over time I became well informed. I was less concerned with the nutritional benefits of breastfeeding than the emotional benefits to both myself and our Tiny Piglet.
Since then we haven’t looked back. Tiny Piglet went from strength to strength and now sits around the 40th percentile. I trust my instincts. He looks healthy, he has a good appetite (for milk!) and meets his milestones, so I no longer weigh him. As he approached 4 months, some friends from my NCT group started to discuss weaning their little ones. I knew that NHS guidelines advised weaning from 6 months and I was loving our breastfeeding relationship so I was in no rush to wean, and certainly not before 6 months. I did a lot of reading around both traditional and bay-led weaning and I decided that the latter was for us. I will not provide a detailed explanation of baby-led weaning here because there are excellent resources online, including a comprehensive baby-led weaning website and an excellent baby-led weaning community on Facebook. In addition I devoured Gill Rapley‘s original baby-led weaning book.
Below I have summarised my reasons for choosing baby-led weaning
1. I loved our breastfeeding relationship and it did not seem natural to start feeding my little baby pureed food from a spoon. I constantly found myself asking what would our ancestors (cavemen) have done and how would another mammal feed their offspring? To allow Little Piglet to determine when he was ready to eat solid food sat well with me.
2. I am incredibly lazy. Again and again, I came across the mantra “food before one is for fun” and friends who had followed baby-led weaning with their little ones testified that even though they might have eaten very little before one, they continued to thrive on breastmilk. If that was the case, why would I bother to prepare separate meals for Little Piglet when he could share in what we were eating?
3. In fact, Little Piglet made the choice for me. When he turned 6 months I began to offer solid food, but he did not seem interested. As an anxious first time mum I questioned my intention to allow him to lead the weaning process, and I did begin to offer small amount of mashed food on a spoon. But he would not open his mouth. This confirmed my decision to allow him to lead the weaning process.
As to be expected we’ve had our ups and downs. Little Piglet showed very little interest in solid food until around 8.5 months. I have also made modifications to our approach along the way, guided by the needs of the whole family. Strictly, baby-led weaning does not encompass spoon feeding and we did introduce a spoon around 8.5 months for sloppy foods such as soup. Little Piglet did not enjoy handling wet and sloppy foods and I soon realised that I was not inventive or motivated enough to create non-sloppy ways of eating such foods! Also, he has struggled with large pieces of food. At first he chewed heartily on pieces of toast and carrot but over time increasing amounts of food were ending up on the floor. I realised that because he was not able to bite off a small enough piece to swallow he gave up (once again, testament to his impatient nature!) and threw the food onto the floor. Once he had mastered the pincer grip I started breaking food up into swallow size pieces and a lot more food went down. It is important that I do not put too many pieces of food out at any one time because once Little Piglet has selected a piece to eat, anything remaining in front of him is swiftly swept onto the floor. If he is unhappy with the selection he has been given he will eye up my plate until I offer the appropriate food.
It is still early days. I would guess that Little Piglet is still consuming 80-90% breastmilk (on demand) whereas a lot of friends’ babies are eating 3 solid meals a day. But it has been a relaxed and enjoyable process. My husband has remarked how impressed he is that Little Piglet is eating at all! And it does mean that if we have been short of time or the Little Piglet has been under the weather and refusing solids, he has received adequate nutrition from my milk, and he continues to thrive. However baby-led weaning might not be appropriate for everyone. I am fairly relaxed and prefer that I am not worrying about the quantities of food that Little Piglet consumes (knowing that breastmilk is providing adequate nutrition) but friends have explained that baby-led weaning would stretch their patience and they prefer to have more control over their baby’s solid intake. My feeling is that it is important to trust your own instincts and act in the most practical and appropriate manner for your own family. Little Piglet joins us for every mealtime and this works really well for us, although his appetite is small and his attention span is short, so my husband and I do tend to gulp down our own meals before initiating the daily game of “pass the baby”!
Spring seems to have sprung… finally! And we’ve had a lovely few days. I think this is my favourite time of the year. As I remarked to a friend this week, “it is not until spring arrives that I realise how truly miserable I have been all winter”.
We have enjoyed several excursions. On Saturday we revisited Oakington Garden Centre with Daddy. Yesterday we enjoyed a walk around Milton Country Park in the sunshine (for a change!) and today we have crossed the border into Suffolk to visit a friend in the little village of Exning.
I love the fact that now I can occupy the both of us for an entire morning or afternoon by pottering to the park or walking through the woods. In the dark depths of winter I have felt obliged to attend countless baby groups, attempting to keep myself entertained whilst cooped up in a dingy hall. And leaving the house has been a breeze: no coats or brollies required. This morning I was able to meet a friend at the park with just a few minutes notice. We popped some light clothes on and I strapped Little Piglet securely to my back in the Ergo.
However the light sunny evenings are playing havoc with Little Piglet’s bedtime routine. And the blackout blind that we purchased in anticipation of this event is too small. But at least he is allowing me to get a lie in every morning (although it means that leaving the house before midday is near impossible at present!).
Below: “Sometimes I fall asleep in the swing”
Another sleep-related post! Parents of babies and young children spend a lot of their waking hours worrying about and discussing their offspring’s sleeping habits. In “Sleep, imperfect sleep. Part 1” I introduced the Great Porridge Plan designed to encourage Little Piglet to sleep for more hours during the night without needing a feed. Unfortunately, he has spent recent nights feeding from me for a large part of the night, and has refused all solids during the day (who needs solids when there’s milk on offer ALL night?!).
We were fortunate in that Little Piglet slept incredibly well for the first few months, regularly sleeping through the night or waking once, at most. We credited his super sleeping to the faithful swaddle blanket. Little Piglet was just a couple of days old when I discovered the art of swaddling and it was immediately effective, soothing him and and allowing him to sleep for hours. The purpose of swaddling is to prevent the newborn’s startle reflex from awakening them. Swaddling was so effective that we swaddled Little Piglet until he turned 10 months. But little piglet is not so little anymore, and swaddling effectively is almost impossible. For various reasons, his sleep has become very erratic in recent months. He has recently reached a number of developmental milestones, including crawling and cruising, and I suspect he is teething too.
Despite initial concerns about co-sleeping, for us it has been a blessing. Usually Little Piglet spends the first part of the night in his own cot, and on waking transfers into bed with me. This arrangement worked very well when he was sleeping with us for the first 6 months. However we found that we often woke him when we stirred during the night, so we moved him into a neighbouring room with a spare bed for me. Thankfully during our antenatal NCT classes we were taught the fundamentals of safe co-sleeping and in the majority of countries around the world it is standard practice. I quickly mastered feeding on my side, and regularly drifted off during those sleepy night-feeding sessions. Initially I felt very guilty about this and worried about creating “bad habits” but in time I considered it a very practical and beautiful arrangement.
When Little Piglet was waking 1-2 times per night these arrangements worked extremely well, providing the whole family with adequate rest. But recently, he has been waking up to hourly. At a La Leche League meeting I was reassured that this is entirely normal and healthy behaviour. Nonetheless, I felt like like every day was becoming more and more of a struggle. Because his suck has become so strong, now I rarely fall asleep whilst he feeds and once he has fallen asleep, his snoring can keep me awake! Therefore I needed a plan. Little Piglet will not settle at night with my husband, so for now it is in my hands. We align ourselves with gentle parenting techniques so a cry-it-out approach was not for us. Elizabeth Pantley’s “No-cry sleep solution” has some helpful suggestions as does Dr Jay Gordon (although he suggests that his techniques are used for babies >1 year). Both emphasise the importance of the baby learning to fall asleep without the need to suck on the mother’s breast, but ensuring that they are always comforted by a parent during this process.
Ideally I would like to night-wean little piglet and I hope that by encouraging him to fall asleep without sucking we will achieve this. Eventually I would like my husband to be able to settle him too. But it is a gradual process. At times I feel very demoralised. For example, last week we spent the afternoon with Jake the super sleeper. Jake sleep 13 hours at night! But his parents have worked hard to achieve this, and until recently we have been fairly content with our arrangement. We hope that over the coming months we can gently encourage Little Piglet to sleep better.
Today we visited Oakington Garden Centre, a small family run establishment north of Cambridge, where we enjoyed playing in their pots and their farmyard as well as a warm drink in the The (delightful) Olive Tree Cafe.
Below: “Mummy thought it would be funny to put me in a pot, and even funnier to put me in the farmyard”
Little Piglet slept really well for the first 6 months. Whilst other new mums were complaining of wake up calls every 1-2 hours, we enjoyed nights that were broken only once, if that. We had simply been blessed with a baby that slept relatively well. But from 6 months, things went downhill. At the time of writing, Little Piglet is almost 10 months. Last night he woke three times before 2.30am (although the first I blame on my husband making far too much noise outside his bedroom door). For the rest of the night he slept with me (hubby refuses to sleep in the same room as LP) and still woke me several times for a quick snack.
Whilst some mummy friends have been stressing about creating and storing stashes of purees in their freezers for the little ones, I’ve been a staunch advocate of baby led weaning. Ethan would not touch a spoon until he turned 8.5 months so my research on blw (comprising Gill Rapley‘s bible) paid off. Little Piglet did not really show interest in any food until around 8 months so I continued to offer breastmilk on demand and LP continued to thrive. Now Little Piglet is very interested in food: if he sees it, he wants it! But he doesn’t really want to eat it. He puts it in his mouth, chews it, perhaps swallows a small amount then spits it out. Basically, I gave birth to a little milk monster. Too busy to feed from me during the day, he makes up for it at night. However, I have noticed that if I offer mushy food on a spoon during the day, he does eat more, and he sleeps better! Favourites are porridge and yoghurt.
Strictly speaking, spoon feeding does not constitute baby led weaning. And I am not in a rush to wean my little piglet from the breast. I realise that co-sleeping for the whole night would ease the situation, but I now value some time sleeping alone or with my husband. And being woken once or even twice a night would be ok, but three times or more is a struggle. So I have been experimenting with the amounts of solids I offer on a spoon during the day, and generally speaking, on days when LP has consumed more solids (either from a spoon or as finger food), he sleeps better. I have stuck by my “no purees” principle and I offer Little Piglet the same food as us, but if appropriate I mash some to put on a spoon. But there are still days when LP will choose milk over and above any solid food I offer to him. Perhaps yesterday was simply one of those days. I offered him chips, peas and baked beans (favourites) for dinner and porridge before bed, but my milk loving piglet preferred the comfort and yumminess of mummy’s milk last night.
Below: Sleeping beauty
Today we visited Wimpole, a National Trust estate comprising a Georgian mansion and beautiful grounds with a home farm. It was a glorious sunny day (albeit a bit on the chilly side for spring) and we spent the first part of the afternoon pottering around the grounds. We were with a friend who is almost 39 weeks pregnant so she waddled with us. In retrospect I wish I had taken Little Piglet in his carrier (we have an Ergo, and he sits comfortably on my back) but because he was sleeping in his carseat when we arrived I had simply transferred his carseat to the buggy base. It did make for some hairy moments, such as when the buggy wheels toppled into a cattle grid. And eventually our progress across the fields was halted by a stile. Had my friend not been quite so pregnant we might have made it over the stile, and it would have been no obstacle for the Ergo. We passed some rare-breed cattle en route and enjoyed some stunning views of gently rolling hills. Little Piglet was not overly impressed with the scenery and indulged in some breadsticks which proved (once again) a useful distraction. He is not a fan of spending time in the buggy and would have been happier sitting on my back.
Following our gentle stroll we sought out the restaurant for a drink. Some hardy visitors were braving the outdoor seating area and rewarded with a lovely view across the garden. We all resisted the tempting cakes (me because I am on my post-pregnancy diet, my heavily pregnant friend because she feels fat enough already and Little Piglet, to be fair, was not given the option) and enjoyed a refreshing drink. Little Piglet was not very impressed with the seating arrangement. Now that he is mobile (crawling and cruising), sitting still is no fun at all. And the floor was far too dirty for little hands. So he wriggled on my knee whilst I attempted to occupy him with my mobile phone and a bottle of water. My little milk monster was also craving his milk fix but refusing to feed in the noisy restaurant so I eventually fed him sitting on the toilet. I felt very guilty as he slurped away, listening outside to women discussing whether our cubicle was in fact occupied or out of order.
The journey home proved a bit too long for Little Piglet. He had been cramped in his carseat for most of the afternoon, with the exception of a brief outing in the restaurant during which he was not even allowed to stretch his legs. However I enjoyed the drive through the Cambridgeshire countryside and I anticipate that we will spend many happy afternoons exploring Wimpole in the future.
Michaelhouse café is set within the 14th century church of St Michael’s, a Parish and Collegiate Church in the heart of Cambridge. Their menu is sourced from local producers and today we enjoyed sweet potato, chilli and coconut soup.
Little Piglet enjoyed the soup too. And whilst Aunty Suzy and I dug into a chocolate brownie for dessert, Little Piglet was distracted (and content) with a handful of juicy sultanas. Like most little ones, he has a sweet tooth and I have discovered this week that sultanas are a big hit. They are big enough to pick up with his finger and thumb (thereby practising his pincer grip) but small enough to swallow whole (after chewing I hope!) so minimal effort is required (Little Piglet is not very patient, so this is important!).
Below: Tucking into some scrummy sultanas